Communication at the service of the teacher-parent relationship is the title of one of our columns in the École branchée magazine, spring 2019 edition. In this column, we present the factors that promote the development of effective communication as well as the various digital tools promoting communication and feedback with parents around the success of young people, throughout the school year.
In this article, we want to share with you a simple and concrete model of communication in order to enter into a relationship effectively, and this while having a mentality of coeducation.
Exercise your mentality of coeducation involves communicating and listening to others in order to promote the learning and development of the child concerned. One of the questions that often remains unanswered is "How do you communicate in the right way to get the commitment of the right person to team up with for a child's success?" "
To answer it, we chose to speak with Karine Duperré, Coach in interpersonal communication and trainer in Process communication model or in Process Communication®. This model of communication promotes knowledge of oneself and of the other with the aim of knowing how to live together. It offers 6 languages to use. Each of these languages can be used by any of us and is very easy to practice.
According to this model, we all have a mother tongue with which we relate more easily. It is enough to listen or ask a few questions in order to hypothesize the native language of the person in front of us, and then address them in the right way. Using the right communication language, we step into each other's world to create a real connection. This is how we will promote the commitment of this person through co-education.
The different languages of Process Communication®
With some people, you will feel the connection when you speak the language of factual thinking, logic and organization.
With others, it will be the language of opinions.
With some you will have to enter the world of emotions.
In other cases, you will have to create reactions or playful contacts.
Some will want to speak in terms ofshare and profit.
Finally, theimagination could be the way to go.
Some examples of teacher-parent communication
A teacher should talk to a student's parents to let them know about a change in their dating and behavior.
The teacher explains the situation: Hello, for some time now your child has made new friends and their behavior is increasingly inappropriate. I would even say that they are disturbing.
You will be able to read below some possible reactions from the parents and the answers of the teacher adapted according to the language of these.
- Mom (emotions): Oh ! my God. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for the inconveniance. I don't want him to hurt you. I feel really bad.
- Teacher : All is well, madam. We will work together as a team for the sake of your child.
- Dad (factual thought): You say “for some time”. For how long exactly? Can you be more specific about the type of inappropriate behavior you are talking about?
- Teacher : I have noticed changes for 3 weeks. If you want, I can make a list of the behaviors that I have observed. We could jointly establish a structure that will allow your child to organize themselves better.
- Mom (opinions): Please let me know. I think it's important to have good relationships if you want to progress in life. I try to make my boy understand this constantly. I'm glad you and I feel the same way.
- Teacher : Thank you Madam. I thought we could (add the appropriate solution). What do you think?
- Dad (imagination): Inappropriate… okay. So… then?
- Teacher : Imagine the long term consequences of bad dating. Over the next few days, watch your child. I will send you an action plan. Watch it and I'll call you back by next week to discuss it.
- Mom (actions): Okay! So, what do we do?
- Teacher : For my part, I will do (xyz). And this is what I expect from you (abc).
- Dad (reactions): Well! Well! We relax! The important thing is that he has friends, right? The rest, we'll see. I can't be behind him every second.
- Teacher : Hahahaha, I imagine you behind him during my lessons, I don't think you would be comfortable. All I want is for your child to have a good time at school. Would you like to help me?
To go a little further
Listening to the person you are talking to is the right first step in determining which language to use. Based on her response, make a guess and see the effect of your response when you address her in the language you have detected. The following will give you a more detailed idea of the words to use with each of the languages.
To speak with a person who is in the universe of factual thinking, you will use words like: facts, data, concretely, structure, logic, organization, list, agenda, management, file, responsibility, time, schedule, competence, work, tables, schedule, procedure, etc.
With those who speak with opinions, beliefs, these words will have an impact: values, conviction, importance, tradition, debate, exchange, discussion, promise, fundamental, advice, point of view, certainty, opinion, merit, trust, justice, equality, loyalty, etc.
To speak in the language of emotions, you will succeed in reaching them with these words: feel, love, family, sensation, touch, compliments, thank you, presence, harmony, cuddle, affection, attention, humanity, compassion, warmth, to please, union, etc.
To create reactions, you will be successful by being funny, fun, spontaneous, joking, onomatopoeias, laughing, contact, provoking, celebrating, creative, moving, full of people, different, new, party, magic, colors, facial expressions, etc.
For those who needshare and profit, you will use these words: GO !, then, forge ahead, succeed, gains, opportunities, projects, ambition, efficiency, fast, precursor, power, excitement, take on, adrenaline, challenge, variety, reach, summit, etc.
To communicate with those who are in the universe ofimagination, these words will join him: Visualize, reflect, calm, nature, silence, introspection, loneliness, refuge, run away, dream, stability, slowness, discreet, bliss, space, individual, serenity, etc.
In order to experience the benefits, Karine Duperré invites you to discover the Process Communication® via the Facebook group: Passionate about Process communication.
Among other things, you will find all the training opportunities there.
Come and discuss it in our Facebook group: École branchée on the family: Co-educating in the digital age!
Discover all our resources to create a positive link between family and school and thus promote the well-being of the child!
Consult the guide Parents and teachers: for a bond throughout the year!